17
Oct
08

A Perfect Fake – Hyper-Realistic Sex Dolls

To be perfectly honest, the first fifteen to twenty minutes of this documentary are boring. It discusses the creation of the perfect fake human, whether it be in CGI or in robotics. The narrator sounds like she’s been narrating all day is well and truly bored. Only after about twenty minutes does it begin to delve in to the CGI porn from, you guessed it, Japan.

It briefly talks about the CGI films, and games, which the Japanese love so much then discusses the possibility of computer controlled sex toys, and this is where the English translation provides comedy gold.

You warped Japs! WE LOVE YOU!!

You warped Japs! WE LOVE YOU!!

I’m sure the translations are accurate, but it’s just the way in which they discuss things that got me laughing. Like the man above who, using a PC, various magnets and a rubber vagina, has created a robotic beaver that, in theory, someone using the PC (or over the internet) could control. His frank discussion of Japanese habits like: ‘they [Japanese men] put their cock in a vacuum [cleaner] and go “oooh”‘ were hilarious. He needs his own TV show that man.

It then moves on to the man with, easily, the freakiest doll of them all:

Agh! Imagine looking down and seeing that thing!

Imagine humping away, looking down, and seeing that thing... it'd put you off your stride!

And its owner is pretty freaky looking too. Definitely a ‘wouldn’t-leave-my-kids-with-him’ guy. He tells how he saw Tina (as he calls her) on a web site and bought her. I suppose it’s the latex equivalent of a Russian bride…

Yeah, excited in the pants you mean!

No, I think your work mates wanted rid of you, you weirdo!

No, I think your work mates wanted rid of you, you weirdo!

He then thought: ‘what can I do with this doll?’ (since I don’t think it’s actually a sex doll) and found that there were many people who take their dolls out in the real world and photograph them, so that’s what Tina’s owner decided to do, dismantle her, stick her in a bag, wheel her out in to the wide open world, stick a pole up her ass, prop her up in a field and take photo’s of her. Oh how I’d love to have seen the faces of those passing by.

I'm speechless by this mans psychological misgivings...

Ok, he's a crackpot...

It does briefly mention Idoloid, a Japanese porn magazine that uses only sex dolls in its photographs, but it then moves in to the real sex doll side of things. One collector (read: raving pervert) is a well known Japanese businessman who’s identity is hidden behind a blurred face.

Yeah, I'll bet you do!

Yeah, I'll bet you do!

He explains that some people throw their old dolls away when they get new ones, but not him, oh no, he keeps them all and even has a spare apartment to keep them all in! This guy is obviously a professional sexual deviant. He doesn’t mess around…

Notice how they all look rather young?...

Notice how they all look rather young?...

He even, helpfully, discusses how you should plug their holes up (*snigger*), when not in use, and how to properly position them so as not to have them distort or crack over time.

The programme runs for close to an hour and only after the short CGI discussion does it get to the good stuff, I’m not sure if the programme was written specifically about the Japanese market, or if they found it difficult to find a Westerner with a sex doll, but either way – if you want to sit and way ‘what the FUCK?!’ ever few minutes then this is the documentary for you. Although it never did tell you how much it was to buy a sex doll…


1 Response to “A Perfect Fake – Hyper-Realistic Sex Dolls”


  1. 1 rousingolivia
    October 18, 2008 at 4:06 am

    Those dolls are just so scary looking. I don’t know…if I were a man, I’d rather screw an apple pie then one of those.


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