Ilsa She Wolf of the SS starring Dyanne Thorne

Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS

Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS

I’m prefacing this review with some UK centric back story: there was a comedy program on UK television called ‘Allo Allo‘ which mocked the Germans and had the most comical German accents. Every German spoke with a German tinted English accent. No matter how much I try to take this movie seriously, that comedy program pops in to my head since this movie uses the same German tinted English. In all honesty it’s a flaw only UK people who watched Allo Allo will notice. In fact, the movie would probably have been better had they filmed it in German and used English subtitles. But I digress…

Ilsa is the cruel warden of a conentration camp which is conducting ‘medical’ experiments on it’s male, and female, prisoners. Ilsa has a theory that women can withstand more pain than men, and she is out to prove it to the top brass of the SS.

NOTE TO ILSA: Woman can withstand more pain than men because they don’t have nuts to kick. Case closed.

But she is also using the men of the camp for her own sexual pleasure and, surprise surprise, one American prisoner can keep it up all night, and becomes Ilsa’s favourite, I’m guessing the story was written by an American, but Ilsa is also torturing the women of the camp to prove her theory. I won’t spoil the ‘story’ (what there is of one), but her sexual appetite becomes her downfall.

Look! It is the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies! (another Allo Allo reference)

Look! It is the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies! (another Allo Allo reference)

What I liked most about this film is that within two minutes we get to see Ilsa topless in the shower. Certainly got my attention! Or is that got me TO attention, oh, never mind. Then the first batch of women arrive at the camp, we’re then treated to a short scene of each presenting themselves to Ilsa completely starkers.

Gratuitous cleavage shot...

Gratuitous cleavage shot...

Some of the rape and torture scenes are a bit unnecessary but this movie seems to be all talk and no action. There’s no real gore shown, most of it is all off screen so its reputation seems to have preceeded it. The acting and script is so hammy that its still oinking and the gore is non-existant, so what is there to like? Dyanne Thornes ample bosom, that’s what! Achtung!

To prove my Allo Allo theory, here’s a YouTube clip, showing the best of season one. The Ilsa accents are EXACTLY like the Allo Allo ones!

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