Archive for the 'Pr0n' Category

15
Mar
09

Psychic TV – First Transmission (1982) – Thee Temple Ov Psychick Youth

Psychic TV - First Transmission

Psychic TV - First Transmission

I fully intended to do my homework with this set of videos to bring you the background behind them and any other informative snippets that I could find. But the more I researched the more muddled the story became, so sod it – I’ll just review what I saw…

Psychic TV was a music band set up by a guy named Genesis P Orridge (no, seriously). From what I could gather, Thee Temple Ov Psychick Youth (who were obviously illiterate to use a spelling like that) were the visual side of Mr Orridge’s audio side. The set of videos were apparently only available through mail order and only if you had bought his previous nine albums. You know how it goes, you buy the thing – get a token – keep the tokens, send them in, blah blah blah. But in return for some tokens you were sent this set of bizarre movies which last about six hours in total. What’s on them? I’m glad you asked…

The first (of four) tapes begins with some guy who is apparently the spokesman for Thee Temple Ov Psychick Youth (TOPY). While we hear a voice, the figure is mouthing, and gesturing, something completely different, so that section is a bit like watching an old Jackie Chan movie (back when he was good). The next forty-five minutes are of some poor devil getting whipped, slashed and, to top it all off, given – what looks like – a blood enema. Are these scenes real hacking and slashing? I honestly don’t know, but the cutting scenes do look real, taking in to account that this was made in the early 80’s (special effects weren’t cheap and were usually God awful) it certainly looks real. Then, an intermission – five minutes of the Virgin Mary complete with flashing heart and halo.

Virgin Mary figure, complete with flashing halo and heart! (batteries not included)

Virgin Mary figure, complete with flashing halo and heart! (batteries not included)

And to finish off video one, some chick peeling off her drawers to reveal one of the most ugly vaginas ever. I don’t think it was supposed to be hideous, but its one of those vaginas with the curling in labia and sticky out bits. Ugh…

Video two starts off with someone driving around a town somewhere taking video footage at the same time. This was obviously filmed in the 70’s since everyone is wearing flares and tight t-shirts. The we see some teenagers in a flat looking absolutely stoned out their nut. After about five minutes of them we cut to some kid getting some backstreet surgery done on his arm this, it would appear, lets him (and later, his friend) hook up some device to his arm where he can press a button and get high as a kite.

What's this all about? Answers on a postcard to the usual address...

What's this all about? Answers on a postcard to the usual address...

Later in this section he lies face down on a table and our backstreet Mr Mengele operates at the base of the kids spine with another little press-button box thing. Unfortunately it’s at this point the kid pops his clogs, dressed only in his underpants with a little black box dangling from his ass crack. Mr Mengele seems upset and we cut to some flashback footage. Finally, we get some de-penis-ing. Not castration as some reviews have said. His testicles are not removed, his PENIS is removed! No, I’m not kidding. This kid lies down on a bed, some guy comes in with a pair of scissors and cuts his dick off. And there’s a fair few spurts of blood. Is it fake? Again, I doubt it, as this was, again, released in the early 80’s, I doubt they had the technology to do this back then.

‘But how does he pee?’ I hear you ask.

His urine dribbles forth from a small opening above his testicles. As is demonstrated near the end of this video. Most unpleasant! This tape ends with some weird music (Psychic TV music? I dunno) and flashing images. Trippy maaaaaan!

Oooooh, oh... pretty woman. Oh no, sorry, it's Jim Jones...

Oooooh, oh... pretty woman. Oh no, sorry, it's Jim Jones...

Tape three is the Jim Jones tribute tape. There’s just over thirty minutes of Jim ‘I want to be Elvis, but look more like Roy Orbison’ Jones’ rambling madness. Sanity is forthcoming however, with five minutes of a pretty girl disrobing, showing her boobs then getting dressed again. Hallelujah! Insanity returns with ten minutes, or so, of a girl clipping her beaver hair and some guy poking a hole in the side of his dick. Yes, there’s blood.

Final video begins with an interview. Now I initially thought this was some bald headed dyke, but according to the type on screen, it’s Mr Genesis P. Orridge himself.

Mr Genesis P. Orridge - I still reckon it's a dyke...

Mr Genesis P. Orridge - I still reckon it's a dyke. Would you trust a guy who shaves his eyebrows like a woman??

Him (and someone else) ramble on for a good five minutes before it cuts to some swirly shapes with weird music. Now either I have an over-active imagination (quite possible) or they’ve purposely used some porn footage in the swirly shapes. Behold:

It's porn, I'm telling you. No, seriously. No, I'm not on drugs!!

It's porn, I'm telling you. No, seriously. No, I'm not on drugs!!

Swirly porn-ified music continues for about twenty minutes before the video cuts to a screen proclaiming: ‘An Introduction to the Temple Ov Psychick Youth’. Now it’s flashing images for the best part of twenty minutes and, finally, ending with the spokesman.

The badly out of sync spokesman.

The badly out of sync spokesman.

Having read a bit in to Mr Orridge, and PsychicTV, these videos are more art-house than horror. Certainly the torture and de-penis-ing are gory, and possibly real, but the rest are (I think) mere visual imagery for his music. Still worth flicking through just to be able to tell people what you saw.

On second thoughts – no, maybe it’s better if you don’t tell them about the torture and de-penis-ing!

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24
Jan
09

REPO! The Genetic Opera Review (Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman of SAW fame)

Badass.  Digging the Communist theme.

Badass. Digging the Communist theme.

Repo! The Genetic Opera is the brainchild of Darren Lynn Bousman, who most of you know as one half of the team that made SAW such an immensely popular and lucrative franchise, and buddy Terrance Zdunich, who is mainly a storyboard artist working on movies and TV shows.

Here’s a quick snapshot of the plot.

In the year 2056 – the not so distant future – an epidemic of organ failures devastates the planet. Out of the tragedy, a savior emerges: GeneCo, a biotech company that offers organ transplants, for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted by villainous Repo Men. In a world where surgery addicts are hooked on painkilling drugs and murder is sanctioned by law, a sheltered young girl searches for the cure to her own rare disease as well as information about her family’s mysterious history. After being sucked into the haunting world of GeneCo, she is unable to turn back, as all of her questions will be answered at the wildly anticipated spectacular event: The Genetic Opera. Written by Lionsgate

If there’s one thing that is grossly apparent right off the bat, it’s that Bousman and Zdunich have a lot of respect and love for cult classics such as Rocky Horror Picture Show and also seem influenced by more elegant and classic opera works such as Phantom of the Opera.  There’s even a bit of The Who’s rock opera Tommy in there.  It’s no shock that the mind that helped push the SAW franchise forward would be able to create a Gothic, dystopian future, but credit must be given for slick, yet earthly atmosphere embedded in the sometimes hallucinogenic visuals of the film.  It looks great, period.

Bousman manages to keep the narrative moving along swiftly with great focus, even while dealing with the difficult medium of opera.  That’s right kids, an opera where no word of dialogue is ever simply “said.”  Unlike musicals, where there can be breaks in between musical passages to drive the story home with normal movie dialogue, Bousman ensures that every word is “sung”, which can be very awkward at first when your not expecting it.  It’s difficult to accurately describe, but once you see and hear it you will clearly understand what obstacles must have popped up from this bold and daring choice.  Other than that, Bousman also unleashes some incredibly awesome graphic novel panels to fill us in VERY quickly of a particular characters background.

Paul Sorvino and his shotgun-wielding ninja chick bodyguards.

Paul Sorvino and his shotgun-wielding ninja chick bodyguards.

It may be a tricky type of film to make, but Bousman is a razor-sharp horror producer and director, and knew that if he brought in the right talent, he would have a chance to lure in a slew of fans regardless of the experimental nature of the film.  Paris Hilton (Super Global Slut) , Anthony Head (Giles from the Buffy TV Series), Sarah Brightman (acclaimed opera/classical singer and once married to Lloyd Weber who wrote Phantom of the Opera), Bill Moseley (Of House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects fame) and Paul Sorvino round out the eclectic nucleus of the cast.  Terrance Zdunich also has a fairly large role as the Graverobber, and steals the show with his “Zydrate Anatomy” song.  The cast is, like so many aspects of this brave venture into total cult cinema, uneven throughout, with those who can sing clearly being more enjoyable and tolerable than those who can’t, with Alexa Vega and Bill Moseley probably being the two biggest culprits.  Hopefully the star power and notoriety brought by those actors outweighs the damage they have done by simply being the weak links vocally.

Sarah Brightman definitely has some bitchin' pipes.  And she's kinda sexy, in that scary way.  She probably a goddamn witch in real life.

Sarah Brightman definitely has some bitchin' pipes. And she's kinda sexy, in that scary way. She's probably a goddamn witch in real life.

Which leads me to my assessment of the acting itself, which again can be easily defined as uneven.  While some amount of over and under acting is perfectly acceptable in horror, especially in something this theatrical and over the top, but sometimes the cartoon like personalities crossed the line between tasteful and embarrassingly out of place.  At times the actors would play very serious, as if this carried the same weight as The Phantom of the Opera, and at other times it was clear everyone was having fun and things were much more airy and carefree.  I waited for the flick to settle down, and choose a definite mood and direction, but it never did, as it gleefully jumped back and forth between trying to be emotionally heavy and serious, and being grin-worthy, funny and lightweight.  Maybe I am reading to much into something that can’t truly be defined, but I would have loved to see some lines drawn pertaining to acceptable behavior from all characters, as you would with any other film.

She got the creepy, goggley eyes.  Burn at the stake, you kinda-sexy witch.

She's got the creepy, googly eyes. Burn at the stake, you kinda-sexy witch.

The final piece of the Repo puzzle is one that isn’t a very common problem in movies, the soundtrack.  That’s not to say all movies has great soundtracks, but they also don’t rely as heavily as Repo does on its’ music.  So how does the song selection hold up?  Take a guess.

UNEVEN.

Some of the songs, like Zydrate Anatomy and Legal Assassin knock it completely out of the park, while others are either too short or too gimmicky to be considered truly great. While taste is bound to vary from viewer to viewer, I felt the music was acceptable, but could’ve benefitted from maybe one or two ballads complete with verses, chorus, and a bridge and a few more rock and roll anthems.

There's also some gore, which is very well done, but used very rarely.

There's also some gore, which is very well done, but used very rarely.

I, like so many of you, have waited for years, eagerly anticipating this movie to be released in any format, anywhere.  And while it may look and sound like I have nothing but negative things to say about Repo!, I feel it’s a case of me being exceptionally critical of a piece of work I felt had all ingredients to really show the world how versatile the “horror” genre can truly be.  Repo is by no means a failure, but instead comes off as a combination of over-indulgence and lofty ambitions.  It succeeds at what it aimed to do, but the cost for achieving that goal may be a dent in Bousman’s reputation, depending on how this is received in the community.  There’s no doubt in my mind that this vehicle can be used to create an amazing, genre-bending film, but Repo! isn’t that flick.

There’s a lot of psychotropic, semi-gory fun to be had with Repo!, but it’s kinda like looking for a 20 dollar bill in your friends extremely messy room, you know it’s worth it to look, but your gonna have to sift through some shit to get what you want.

27
Dec
08

Tokyo Gore Police

Tokyo Gore Police

Tokyo Gore Police

Oh yes, it’s here!

Tokyo Gore Police!

If you’ve seen The Machine Girl, then it’s more of the same crazy gore-fest goodness.

The basic story is as thus: (from IMDb)

Set in a future-world vision of Tokyo where the police have been privatized and bitter self-mutilation is so casual that advertising is often specially geared to the “cutter” demographic, this is the story of samurai-sword-wielding Ruka and her mission to avenge her father’s assassination. Ruka is a cop from a squad who’s mission is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as “engineers” possessing the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself.

Sound crazy? Kinda. But you’ve really got to see it to believe it.

Some parts of TGP remind me of Robocop. There are parts in the movie where it suddenly switches to a TV advert, one in particular (which I thought was hilarious in this day and emo-age) was for special cutter blades, where emo-kids could use these fancy blades to cut cool shapes in to themselves, all done in over the top TV ad style. Very funny.

Tokyo Gore Police - she's the radio control chick

Tokyo Gore Police - she's the Police radio controller chick

Other parts of the movie are just plain mad. We often cut to scenes where a woman with an old 1950’s style microphone announces, in her best radio voice, incidents that are occurring. I can only assume that she’s the radio controller for the Police!

In other scenes we see a maniac murdering a woman and stuffing her remains in to a cardboard box:

She's a boxer. Hah! Geddit?! I made a funny!

She's a boxer. Hah! Geddit?! I made a funny!

In a rather fetishistic scene we see odd looking mutants dance across a stage with a skin covered, still breathing, chair that pees on people! Behold:

It's a living, breathing, peeing chair!

It's a living, breathing, peeing chair!

But there is some inventive stuff here. When the engineers are making other people engineers, they hold an organic key to the persons skin and a little keyhole appears, they pop the key in and turn it and a part of the person just pops open, unlocked, for the engineer to stick the key in to. I’ve not seen that done before!

Crazy/gory/mutated scenes are ten a penny in this film, too many to capture for here, but TGP is definitely a beautiful film. It’s well lit (colourful), the effects are pretty much all latex (yay! No CGI!) and there is a story.

I’ll be honest with you people. I downloaded a DVD-rip of TGP with subs, but I’ll tell you: if this comes out on DVD as a Directors Cut I’ll be all over it like a rash. You mark my words!

Tokyo Gore Police… it’s your DUTY to watch it!

Behold, the trailer… bow before it’s greatness!

29
Oct
08

Russ Meyer – King of Sexploitation

Russ Meyer - King of Sexploitation

Russ Meyer - King of Sexploitation

Russ Meyer – King of Sexploitation, is an old documentary, made shortly after his death in September 2004 and explores the magic of boobs uh, I mean, his movies.

The documentary is chock full of Russ Meyer clips and interviews with friends, ex-girlfriend and actresses.

Everyone from Director John Landis to Playboy founder Hugh Hefner gushes about what they love most about Meyers movies, or how they came to meet him.

Beginning with his first few movies (Faster Pussycat Kill Kill) it explains how his movies were some of the first to contain nudity (no explicit sex) and with a plot! *gasp!*

It introduces his main actresses (ex-girlfriend Kitten Natividad and Tura Satana, who still appear at Meyer fan conventions) and explains how he was a World War II videographer which is where he honed his craftmanship.

Tura Satana - as she was in the 70's

Tura Satana (in the black) - as she was in the 60's

It then moves on to the 70’s where Hollywood gave Meyer a decent budget and a shot at the big time. His film (Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls) effectively poked fun at Hollywood, and Hollywood had no idea what to do with the film nor what it meant.

Tura Satana as she looks now - still scary...

Tura Satana as she looks now - still scary...

By the mid-late 70’s Meyers films were more cartoony and he was appearing either introducing them, or explaining the movie at the end. The level of violence in his films had increased, never blood and guts graphic, but still violent none the less.

The great man himself - Russ Meyer

The great man himself - Russ Meyer

As we reach the end of the documentary, it explains how – in his mid-80’s – Meyer’s health began to fail, as did his memory. Tura Satana explains it sadly in how he used to call her name, but in his last days he could only say ‘I know I’m supposed to know you […] but I can’t remember who you are…’

A true under-rated genius. Like the film says: he was one of the few guys to take a $20k budget and have the film rake in over $1m.

17
Oct
08

A Perfect Fake – Hyper-Realistic Sex Dolls

To be perfectly honest, the first fifteen to twenty minutes of this documentary are boring. It discusses the creation of the perfect fake human, whether it be in CGI or in robotics. The narrator sounds like she’s been narrating all day is well and truly bored. Only after about twenty minutes does it begin to delve in to the CGI porn from, you guessed it, Japan.

It briefly talks about the CGI films, and games, which the Japanese love so much then discusses the possibility of computer controlled sex toys, and this is where the English translation provides comedy gold.

You warped Japs! WE LOVE YOU!!

You warped Japs! WE LOVE YOU!!

I’m sure the translations are accurate, but it’s just the way in which they discuss things that got me laughing. Like the man above who, using a PC, various magnets and a rubber vagina, has created a robotic beaver that, in theory, someone using the PC (or over the internet) could control. His frank discussion of Japanese habits like: ‘they [Japanese men] put their cock in a vacuum [cleaner] and go “oooh”‘ were hilarious. He needs his own TV show that man.

It then moves on to the man with, easily, the freakiest doll of them all:

Agh! Imagine looking down and seeing that thing!

Imagine humping away, looking down, and seeing that thing... it'd put you off your stride!

And its owner is pretty freaky looking too. Definitely a ‘wouldn’t-leave-my-kids-with-him’ guy. He tells how he saw Tina (as he calls her) on a web site and bought her. I suppose it’s the latex equivalent of a Russian bride…

Yeah, excited in the pants you mean!

No, I think your work mates wanted rid of you, you weirdo!

No, I think your work mates wanted rid of you, you weirdo!

He then thought: ‘what can I do with this doll?’ (since I don’t think it’s actually a sex doll) and found that there were many people who take their dolls out in the real world and photograph them, so that’s what Tina’s owner decided to do, dismantle her, stick her in a bag, wheel her out in to the wide open world, stick a pole up her ass, prop her up in a field and take photo’s of her. Oh how I’d love to have seen the faces of those passing by.

I'm speechless by this mans psychological misgivings...

Ok, he's a crackpot...

It does briefly mention Idoloid, a Japanese porn magazine that uses only sex dolls in its photographs, but it then moves in to the real sex doll side of things. One collector (read: raving pervert) is a well known Japanese businessman who’s identity is hidden behind a blurred face.

Yeah, I'll bet you do!

Yeah, I'll bet you do!

He explains that some people throw their old dolls away when they get new ones, but not him, oh no, he keeps them all and even has a spare apartment to keep them all in! This guy is obviously a professional sexual deviant. He doesn’t mess around…

Notice how they all look rather young?...

Notice how they all look rather young?...

He even, helpfully, discusses how you should plug their holes up (*snigger*), when not in use, and how to properly position them so as not to have them distort or crack over time.

The programme runs for close to an hour and only after the short CGI discussion does it get to the good stuff, I’m not sure if the programme was written specifically about the Japanese market, or if they found it difficult to find a Westerner with a sex doll, but either way – if you want to sit and way ‘what the FUCK?!’ ever few minutes then this is the documentary for you. Although it never did tell you how much it was to buy a sex doll…

28
Sep
08

The Abortion Bin Mixtape Vol.1

The Abortion Bin Mixtape Vol.1

The Abortion Bin Mix Tape Vol.1

For those of you less versed in fan stuff: a ‘mix tape’ is where some crackpot takes all the best/worst/funniest bits of various films and sticks them together to form one movie.

The Abortion Bin

Abortion Bin Productions have released several films, and books, and I think the mix tape is their way of getting some free promotion? But I’m not 100% sure of that as there is very little mention of the mix tape on their official website.

The mix tape was created by the good folks at Abortion then placed on ‘Tracker 3’* for people to download if they were crazy enough to want it. That’d be me then.

The good thing about this mix tape is that it does not take itself, or the films shown, seriously. The tape starts with a warning that the film is rated PG for Pure Garbage, and is spoken with a Speedy Gonzales type accent, nice.

sorry, I've no funny caption for this one!...

sorry, I've no funny caption for this one!...

Some of the scenes are genuinely disturbing, such as the screen above, of the girl cutting off her bottom lip with a pair of scissors. Ouch!

more bare ass! A quick spine removal, bet that made his eyes water!

more bare ass! A quick spine removal, bet that made his eyes water!

Other scenes are comical and obviously taken from old 80’s movies, some are taken from (I assume) amateur film maker films (above) and some are definitely take from porn movies (see? I know some of the clips!)

I’ve seen quite a few mix tapes in the past, most use really bad, grainy footage of death scenes. This one is different in that the majority of the scenes are of good quality (the image below being one of the exceptions) and aren’t just cheap real-death clips that have been on the internet for years.

yes indeed, that is a man in a suit having sex with a cars exhaust pipe...

yes indeed, that is a man in a suit having sex with a cars exhaust pipe...

The Abortion Bin Mix Tape Vol.1 gets two thumbs up for:

  • not taking itself (or the films) seriously
  • not going for cheap shock tactics, and:
  • for having excellent picture quality.

Seek it out with all due haste!

And give the folks a visit at http://www.freewebs.com/abortionbin, they’ve done several other (non-mixtape) films which might tickle your fancy, and deserve donations/purchases.

* Tracker 3 is a torrent site, I’m sure if you use some Google-ninja skills you’ll find it…