Posts Tagged ‘Satan

25
Jan
09

El Violador Infernal (aka: The Evil Rapist) – Mexican

El Violador Infernal

El Violador Infernal

Well, this is different. I haven’t seen a Mexican horror movie before.

The movie starts with a man, known only as ‘the cat’, being sent to the electric chair. I didn’t even know they used ol’ sparky in Mexico. Anyway, they fry him and, while he’s dead, he sees the image of a hot older chick in a see-through dress who says that she’s Satan and she’ll bring him back to life with all the money, and drugs, he could ever want. But he must contiue his raping/killing spree, but offer up the poor victims to Satan by carving ‘666’ on them.

So, with a new lease of life our ‘hero’ now has a fancy house and more ‘exotic herbs’ than you can shake a poo covered stick at.

Now, prior to his new lease of life the hot older chick Satan did set up some rules, and she was pretty explicit in explaining them. This is where I paused the movie to re-read the subtitles to make sure she was saying what I thought I read, and she did indeed say:

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute, 'rape every man...'?!!

I laughed and returned to watching the film. So now we see ‘the cat’ with his fancy house and snorting coke from a snuff box. He gets in his fancy car and drives off. Next we see him talking to quite possibly the most camp man on celluloid. This guy is more effeminate than the hot older chick Satan! ‘The cat’ babbles on a load of old nonsense before whipping out his… knife (you filthy minded people make me sick!) and stabbing the guy – nearly – to death. Then… well, pictures say more than words:

* I'm speechless at Mexican depravity *

* I'm speechless at Mexican depravity *

Eventually the cops show up and are so homophobic its laughable:

They're talking about the stabbed-raped-now-dead guys boyfriend.

They're talking about the stabbed-raped-now-dead guys boyfriend.

So after about three more stab-rape-kill events the cops twig to the fact that maybe ‘the cat’ is still alive. Somehow. Eventually ‘the cat’ goes on a bender of drink, drugs, and rape, but now we find out that he can shoot lasers from his eyes as he burns down a house. As he flees the house, high as a kite, good ol’ Satan appears and strips him of his powers. Why? Because:

[CRAP STORYLINE SPOILER ALERT]

… he failed to carve 666 on the last chick, so he’s a failure.

[/SPOILER ALERT]

And thus ends the (second) reign of ‘the cat’.

It’s an OK film up until he rapes the near dead gay guy. They could have at least flashed up a warning or something before he did it! I was having my dinner at the time. Bastards. Anyway, other than that, it’s quite a repetitive film of him picking up hookers masseurs and bumping them off. The only thing to stop sheer boredom of that repetitiveness is the cops trying to nail him, but even that isn’t very entertaining.

Would I watch another Mexican film? Yes, but only after reading a synopsis of it to see if it has any near-necro-gay-rape scenes!

El bastardos!

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06
Oct
08

Top 5 Halloween Flicks

Hold onto your hats, boils and ghouls, it’s time for Alex’s top 5 picks for October movie viewing.  Some are safe, comfortable picks you may see coming, and some may throw you for a major loop.  Enjoy kiddies.

In no particular order:

Classic.  Nothing like a full moon and a headless horsemen to get me in the mood.

Classic. Nothing like a full moon and a headless horsemen to get me in the mood.

Tim Burton’s legacy will always be tainted by the few stinkers he’s done, especially as of late, but I can’t hate the man because he’s having a bad streak.  Sleepy hollow is an effective little horror period piece that faithfully retells the legend, while spicing things up just enough to make it feel hip and modern.  Add some great use of clever humor, as rock solid cast, brutal and gory death scenes, and Christopher Walken as the Headless Horsemen, and you have yourselves a winner.

Look at that hard drawn cover art.  Can't beat it with a stick.

Look at that hard drawn cover art. Can't beat that with a stick.

The Witches, from the brilliant writing mind of Roald Dahl, is an often forgotten spooky movie that is intended for kids, but comes with a heaping helping of adult size fun and scares.  Incredible make up and effects litter this film, as does a cute story about a boy turned into a mouse who must stop the evil Witches from taking over the world.  A sleeper hit no doubt, and one you probably haven’t heard of or never paid much mind to, seeing as the audience it’s geared towards.  Take a chance on this one to mix things up this October.

The mask looks even better in the movie.

The mask looks even better in the movie.

Another sleeper gem that most would overlook due to an overly cheesy cover art and no real hype at it’s time of release, this fun little slasher takes place on Halloween, and has a few interesting gimmicks and noble ideas that makes things more interesting than your average slasher.  The well-placed dark humor and twisted nature of the whole tale more than make up for it’s other shortcomings.  If you think you’ve seen every Halloween based slasher flick, pick this up.  It might be more entertaining than you think, even for the diehards.

Yeah.  This still kicks so much ass its not even funny.

Yeah. This still kicks so much ass its not even funny.

Call it nostalgia.  Call it being  a Tim Burton Fan boy.  I call it a masterpiece of animated cinema, one of the best holiday themed movies ever made, and Tim Burton’s crowning achievement.  Nothing will ever eclipse this, even when people try to enhance with updated soundtracks and 3-d glasses.  I’m begging for the hate mail to come pouring in now, and I may even lose the trust of my co-writer here on Midnight Showing Ronnie, but I still feel as much love and devotion to this film as i did 15 years ago.  A masterpiece.

AS IF YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS ONE COMING…

All hail.

All hail.

THE Halloween movie to end all Halloween movies.  John Carpenter’s timeless classic is the epitome of how to create tension, atmosphere, and intrigue with simple pieces. Most don’t even realize that some of the movie is simply shots of interiors and exteriors of houses and neighborhoods, with just the theme laid over top of them.  That’s how genius it is.  He takes a dark stairwell and makes it terrifying.  Combine that with some shots through wide screen and other strange lenses to give it a surreal feel, the most memorable killer of all time, and the emergence of Jamie Lee Curtis as the “door next girl babysitter” and you have one for the ages.  Who would’ve thought one of the most recognized movies in the history of horror cinema would be as tame and bloodless as this flick?

We hope you enjoyed our picks for the Top 5 Halloween flicks this year, and stay tuned for more themed content coming throughout the month of October.

Sleep tight and remember, the killer about to call you is already in your house.